By Joan Wilson
Yeah, yeah, it’s all about Valentine again and everyone is getting caught up in the whole shebang…except me, of course. Let me state categorically that I utterly despise this day…although, there are a few things that work in my favour. Let me explain.
First of all, for the whole year my scum of a man hardly pays me any mind. I would have given anything for his conscience to prick him to head home early so that I can spend some quality time with him. But no, he has to see Jim and Tom and hang with the ‘boys’…and he complains that I am miserable when I complain about his constant outings. But come Valentine’s Day, he’s Mr. Sweet and considerate and ‘anything you want honey’. To hell with that! Give me year round pampering.
But then again, I suppose I have to be grateful for small blessings. At least I can count on one day of the year when he will spend a lot of time with me…and I can milk him for all its worth.
MONEY CYAAN SHARE
Who do they think they are kidding anyway? Women are not stupid! He is always broke, even though he has a good job. Some woman must be sharing that paycheck! And you know it’s worse on Valentine’s Day as he has to squeeze in some flowers or chocolate for that wretch! When you demand something real extravagant for Valentine’s Day, you’re given a stern lecture about “it’s just another day”…and blah blah blah.
On the other hand, I should be grateful that he even takes the time to remember me. A lot of women don’t even have that.
Mercy, you are stone broke and to make matters worse, your man bought you a real expensive gift and he is looking for something just as nice in return. The excuse that you treat him well all year round won’t wash as he is expecting to get something too. Now you have to borrow money or take something on credit. How can you enjoy anything after that with that bill hanging over your head?
On the other hand, it ain’t so bad giving him something special, yes, even if you have to borrow. Just thinking about the way he says ‘thank you’ is enough to wipe out the debt…at least, for a while.
ENVY AT THE WORKPLACE
Admit it ladies, don’t you feel jealous when those huge bouquets and gift baskets arrive for your co-workers and there isn’t any for you? Worse, you can’t be mad at your man because you know he is broke. Either that or he is so thoughtless it can’t even cross his mind to send you a measly gift at work. Then there are those who treat you wonderful when you reach home – but nobody at work will witness that, will they? I soooo hate the pressure that this day brings!
But on the other hand, I love the look of envy when that huge bouquet arrives that states your man is thinking about you. I hate the attention but I truly love it too! At least I am not on the outside looking in.
AIN’T I FAT ENOUGH?
What, don’t I have enough fat to go around without you giving me chocolate and all kinds of fatty Valentine goodies?! You want a pig in bed now? Well, excuse me if I want to be comfortable with my body and not overdo it!
But come to think of it, it’s the only day of the year that I can eat as much chocolate as I want and get away with it…without guilt. No one will think I’m greedy if I have a chocolate feast on Valentine’s Day…it’s the only time of year that it’s allowed.
BETTER TO BE SINGLE
At least if you are single on this day you won’t have any pressure to deal with. One, you won’t have to dig deep into your pocket; two, you won’t feel funny not getting any bouquet delivered to your desk – everyone knows you don’t have a man in your life…so there!
Who am I kidding, there is no greater joy than to have someone beside you. It gives me a warm feeling to hug my man on Valentine’s night…or any other night for that matter…snuggle up and go to sleep.
WHO REALLY BENEFITS
Yeah, who really benefits from Valentine’s Day. Tell me. Apart from the creative bruck pocket couples who find ways to enjoy the day without spending a cent, who benefit from those extravagant lovers who are competing to outdo each other? The commercial merchants, of course. Have you noticed the many things that are on sale for the one day? This day, like all the other holidays, have become commercialized. So I hate Valentine’s Day because at the end of it the only people smiling are the merchants and curse me if you will, but I really would prefer if my man gave me that money. What’s the point of getting very expensive Valentine’s gift and being broke the next day?
On the other hand, the fanfare and attention ain’t so bad. I’m like every other woman and I do love the attention and the fact that he spends a mighty lot on me.
CAN’T TAKE THE PRESSURE
And why the hell can’t I stay home, kick back and watch TV! Who says I have to do anything on Valentine’s Day if I don’t want to. Why would you think I am a charity case or loveless if I don’t have a man coming to take me out? I hate the pressure of having to go out and going to extravagant levels to show that I am not being left behind when it comes to Valentine’s Day. I hate the way your love life is publicly scrutinized. Well, this year I am rebelling! As soon as I leave work, I’m going straight to bed – so sue me!
Then again, how often do I get to share with my friends the wonderful story of my night on the town…all in style. How often do I get to dress up in my sexiest outfit, looking my prettiest as my man drools, the ladies look on in envy and other men lusting after me, as I dine at that expensive restaurant that I always wanted to go, then maybe to the movies or someplace real nice. Mmmm, that can make you feel so good about yourself.